A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Bard

53 717 عدد المشاهدات 5 مليون

Joseph makes a dumb Dungeons and Dragons guide for dumb people
intro/outro music is original piece by JoCat
Theme of the Sweg Kingdom: music.djcutman.com/track/theme-of-the-sweg-kingdom
►Support me: www.patreon.com/user?u=9866256
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►Merch: www.redbubble.com/people/jocat105?asc=u
►Hit Point Press: hitpointpress.com?aff=4
►Twitter: JoCat105
►Stream VODs: arpulse.info/w/qfq3qAqk-VUaX5ZGm8Zbhw
►Website: www.jocat.net/
►Discord: discord.gg/xFMsw2r
Other music courtesy of Epidemic Sound: player.epidemicsound.com/


  1. Sweetie Lea
    Sweetie Lea
    7 ساعات قبل

    I am STILL waiting for Mercer to throw noodles at me for making an asexual bard only interested in being glamorous.

  2. LJ M
    LJ M
    8 ساعات قبل

    The bard is good but my friends don’t like it

  3. LJ M
    LJ M
    8 ساعات قبل

    This ehh

  4. Woofie Walter
    Woofie Walter
    أيام قبل

    Ok so “I like girls” is very good and be proud of it, but this is your magnum opus. Kisses xxxxxx

  5. Smartoon_
    2 أيام قبل

    i'm aroace, main a bard, and Matt Mercer don't scare me

  6. Andrew Armstrong
    Andrew Armstrong
    2 أيام قبل

    Sword and Shield needs new moves and wire bugs are a thing?! INSPIRE!!

  7. Koalaclub99 M
    Koalaclub99 M
    2 أيام قبل

    wait what are the class stereotypes i need to know if matt mercer is going to throw foam noodles at me from the corner of my room

  8. Jaws Team
    Jaws Team
    2 أيام قبل

    We will most likely have a soundboard if we are playing online because we can.

  9. Lunar Wings
    Lunar Wings
    6 أيام قبل

    I think JoCrap is a Barbarian/Monk. The only things he needs is his birthday suit and RAW POWER and THE ALMIGHTY SWORD AND SHIELD

  10. Kuroha ne
    Kuroha ne
    6 أيام قبل

    My bf got into dnd and I have no idea what I'm doing. So here I am, elf bard beginner

  11. I Shot My Boss
    I Shot My Boss
    6 أيام قبل

    Why the fuck is Snow White the DM? She has no imagination. Belle would be the only qualified one, she reads a fuckton.

  12. Zack Sefchick
    Zack Sefchick
    8 أيام قبل

    Okay hear me out. Tieflings are often bards because thaumaturgy doubles as a microphone.

  13. Phil Aleins Lopez
    Phil Aleins Lopez
    8 أيام قبل

    Name for a skeleton bard NECRODANCER: KEEPER OF THE RAVE

  14. I dream in neon
    I dream in neon
    8 أيام قبل

    He literally brought Matthew Mercer in to go "gnnnnneh"

  15. JCeetra
    9 أيام قبل

    For those wondering what the big text during the Matt Mercer bit says: "Disclaimer: Matt Mercer will not actually throw foam noodles at you for not playing a stereotypical D&D character because he doesn't judge the way you have fun & is a genuinely swell guy. He may throw foam noodles at you for other reasons however so you should still watch your back"

  16. ņø gaming
    ņø gaming
    9 أيام قبل

    Hey jocat thanks for the video the dm let's me get a Nokia and I enjoy doing an aasimar bard

  17. onesyphorus Ὀνησίφορος
    onesyphorus Ὀνησίφορος
    10 أيام قبل


  18. Nishido Hellhillsruler
    Nishido Hellhillsruler
    13 أيام قبل

    "Jack of all trades" is how I play those Shadowrun videogames, but that's probably due to my commitment issues :D

  19. frithjof Zhwarznev Cool Dirtbag Nrv dhuhh Swrv Germ
    frithjof Zhwarznev Cool Dirtbag Nrv dhuhh Swrv Germ
    13 أيام قبل

    Aww , the kewt lil bards

  20. baja
    13 أيام قبل

    thank you this is the only thing i need for d&d

  21. NerdyChat
    14 أيام قبل

    My asexual bard.....roll to make friends?

  22. R Hero
    R Hero
    15 أيام قبل

    Group I was in wanted to play an evil group after we finished up Savage Tides. (3.5). I almost always go paladin but couldn’t find a good fit so was going with evil bard, skill ranks in auditory: insult comic. Sad that Puck never came true. (Left group before building him)

  23. Vivid Daydream
    Vivid Daydream
    16 أيام قبل

    Bard x Paladin BUT it's a mutually supportive relationship, BUT the bard still tries to seduce All The Enemies, BUT it's actually a trap to get the enemy's hopes up before the bard casts Vicious Mockery: "urgh, you actually thought I'd sleep with a hideous thing like YOU? Why would I be interested in _you_ when I have my infinitely more attractive and better-in-every-way Paladin Bae?"

  24. Chilly Guy
    Chilly Guy
    17 أيام قبل

    Bard gang wua

  25. Benjamin Armitage
    Benjamin Armitage
    18 أيام قبل

    Happy I’ve found the romance video

  26. Quynlan Vuorensyrja
    Quynlan Vuorensyrja
    18 أيام قبل

    Cool idea: why can’t the bard’s artistic skill be combat? Get two and have them do fancy sword fights as a street performance.

  27. Sean Treadway
    Sean Treadway
    21 أيام قبل

    consider using bards when you have no idea what you wanna do, as in, let's say you want to be a general adventurer, you've been around, you've learned some spells, some magic items, some stuff, you know how to handle yourself a bit, Bards are pretty much just the traveler class but they've got some music skills which is probably what keeps them from sounding like a video game protagonist instead of a class if you don't use magic, Rogue is good as well, since Rogues can honestly just be played as a Fighter who can sneak well

  28. Emily ya bueno
    Emily ya bueno
    21 أيام قبل

    I absolutely adore these vids

  29. Jack Black
    Jack Black
    24 أيام قبل

    0:05 That's what she said!

  30. Mwindo
    25 أيام قبل

    Me in the corner with my asexual whispers bard, waiting for Matt:

  31. Sam Miles
    Sam Miles
    27 أيام قبل

    As a gnome wizard I felt that beginning statement but it still hurt😂

  32. Fernando Gonzales
    Fernando Gonzales
    28 أيام قبل

    i died with the buff allies, harm enemies, harm allies, buff enemies

  33. FrozenTurtl
    28 أيام قبل


  34. Demon
    29 أيام قبل

    whats the text at 1:55

  35. Void Atlas
    Void Atlas
    29 أيام قبل

    I was a pyromanic rock gnome bard for my first game ever

  36. cooper dragotta
    cooper dragotta
    أشهر قبل

    Well I haven't been hit with any foam noodles yet so jokes on him a guess

  37. koala kop
    koala kop
    أشهر قبل

    I was a kobald bard, who had a ukulele and thunder wave, we had to clear a cave so I just deafened, and blinded 7 direwolfs and they almost killed everyone so we bought a baby god

  38. STM
    أشهر قبل

    1:47 is wholesome!

  39. Vinicius Saito
    Vinicius Saito
    أشهر قبل

    JO SHRUG #2: 2:02

  40. Patrick Franks
    Patrick Franks
    أشهر قبل

    so was I the only person that noticed at 1:02 the tiefling bard in the cheerleader outfit only has an & symbol on her chest... Thus implying D&D?

  41. Brodie Vowell
    Brodie Vowell
    أشهر قبل

    The dnd community: bards fuck everything Me, with an annoyed bard that hates sexual intercourse: allow me to introduce myself

    1. Dio
      أشهر قبل

      The ace bards are too powerful, imagine a bard not limited by sexual desire. They would rip the fabric of the meta apart

  42. A Door
    A Door
    أشهر قبل

    Jokes on you, I'm a klepto no matter what class I play!!

  43. A Door
    A Door
    أشهر قبل

    Female bard trying to seduce orc: "I'm tight as fuck!!"

  44. Marisa Paterson
    Marisa Paterson
    أشهر قبل

    I made my bard a fortune teller who casts spells with her Tarot deck instead of picking an instrument for her. Apparently she's also very good at figuring out the backstories of the party, all of whom seem to have an unhealthy amount of secrets.

  45. mrbibs350
    أشهر قبل

    The message that flashes up behind Matt Mercer when he's throwing noodles: "Disclaimer: Matt Mercer will not actually throw foam noodles at you for not playing a stereotypical D&D character because he doesn't judge the way you have fun and is a genuinely swell guy. He may throw noodles at you for other reasons however, so you should still watch your back." 1:56

  46. evilkittygurl
    أشهر قبل

    From 1:57 Disclaimer: Matt Mercer will not actually throw foam noodles at you for not playing a stereotypical D&D character because he doesn't judge the way you have fun & is a genuinely swell guy. He may throw foam noodles at you for other reasons however so you should still watch your back.

  47. Asriel Dreemurr Part time Memer
    Asriel Dreemurr Part time Memer
    أشهر قبل

    I love this bi bard idiot

  48. Dante Brown
    Dante Brown
    أشهر قبل

    Thats not a harp. It a lyre.

  49. Carlos Becerril
    Carlos Becerril
    أشهر قبل

    I doubt it but was that character with the bones an aq3d character? xD

  50. oscar peck
    oscar peck
    أشهر قبل

    It’s the seeker!

  51. TheSkullface95
    أشهر قبل

    For anybody wondering, The foam noodles is at 1:49

  52. templarw20
    أشهر قبل

    "The bard WAS spoony, we checked." - FF4 retranslation team.

  53. Tony Joestar
    Tony Joestar
    أشهر قبل

    1:40 the start of a beautiful love story

  54. Kurodraco Valladares
    Kurodraco Valladares
    أشهر قبل

    "Lay" Dragons i said Slay dragons

  55. Rea Kirk
    Rea Kirk
    أشهر قبل

    how fitting how Jocrap ended the episode by doing a very bard thing to do and rapping.

  56. Mike Florea
    Mike Florea
    أشهر قبل

    0:15 I gotta admit that part got the weirdest laugh out of me :)) Eat your cereal.

  57. Ivan Vector
    Ivan Vector
    أشهر قبل


  58. Celeste Simulator
    Celeste Simulator
    أشهر قبل

    ♩ Inspire, Inspire, Inspire, Inspire all the PCs ♩

  59. Aoi Hoshiko
    Aoi Hoshiko
    أشهر قبل

    If you're a bard, you could be the god of wind and freedom and be best friends with a dragon and still be lazy

  60. Drunk femboy bard
    Drunk femboy bard
    أشهر قبل


  61. Pokekid Challenges
    Pokekid Challenges
    أشهر قبل

    Another thing that will happen if you don’t play with stereotypes Gary gyzack will take all you game dnd books and replace them with 5e tomb of horror still has hard as last time

  62. Kevin Meeker
    Kevin Meeker
    أشهر قبل

    WGLR hat when?

  63. DPlonker
    أشهر قبل

    1:50 My aroace bard out here getting destroyed lol.

  64. David Konrad
    David Konrad
    أشهر قبل

    I find it funny how bards are very useful in dnd and in final fantasy it’s just well the bard can get the hell out of my party

  65. Kimball Belliston
    Kimball Belliston
    أشهر قبل

    1:57 "Disclaimer: Matt Mercer will not actually throw foam noodles at you for not playing a stereotypical D&D character because he doesn't judge the way you have fun & is a genuinely swell guy "He may throw foam noodles at you for other reasons however so you should still watch your back"

  66. Acute Castle
    Acute Castle
    أشهر قبل

    *makes an asexual bard* >D

  67. Crimson Spider 3-T
    Crimson Spider 3-T
    أشهر قبل

    I don’t know why he said this isn’t accurate it is very accurate I I literally shared this to my noob group.

  68. Andrew S
    Andrew S
    أشهر قبل

    The worst part of this is the sound Matt Mercer makes when throwing foam noodles. Like no joke it sounds terrifying.

  69. Berg
    أشهر قبل

    How has Matt Mercer *not* yet commented on this masterpiece of comedy :P

  70. Exiel
    أشهر قبل

    Me and my hunting horn

  71. Matthew Tolliver
    Matthew Tolliver
    أشهر قبل


  72. Gamer Van
    Gamer Van
    أشهر قبل

    My ......ice cream

  73. reap robot
    reap robot
    أشهر قبل

    He must've cast fireball because those bars were fucking fire

  74. Exquisite
    أشهر قبل

    I made a NE bard who's artistic expression was murder

  75. Sahra H
    Sahra H
    أشهر قبل

    OH my god I love this

  76. Isrel156
    أشهر قبل

    0:38 that is a thicc tiefling bard. But my dwarf is THICCER!!!

  77. Estariol87
    2 أشهر قبل

    For those trying to read the part with Matt Mercer..... "DISCLAIMER: Matt Mercer will not actually throw foam noodles at you for not playing a stereotypical D&D character because he doesn't judge the way you have fun & is a genuinely swell guy... He may throw foam noodles at you for other reasons so you should still watch your back" XD XD XD

  78. Clyde crimsoncrow
    Clyde crimsoncrow
    2 أشهر قبل

    Bard of sword is the best for dragonborn

  79. Val Chely
    Val Chely
    2 أشهر قبل

    I... think imma make a bard character.

  80. Joshh Warriad
    Joshh Warriad
    2 أشهر قبل

    1:48 That aged amazingly.

  81. Brian Dominguez
    Brian Dominguez
    2 أشهر قبل

    Appreciate it. All my coworkers are nerds, Im just tryna understand wtf is going on.

  82. Robin Rad
    Robin Rad
    2 أشهر قبل

    If you are about to cum and a bard inspires you, you do a cumehameha (or at least that's how the legend of the legendary super sexoffender goes)

  83. Glacias was the best Webcomic
    Glacias was the best Webcomic
    2 أشهر قبل

    He do be wigglin tho

  84. Sasho Windfeather
    Sasho Windfeather
    2 أشهر قبل

    And two years later, you get Matt to cameo in one of the videos :)

  85. Luke Sams
    Luke Sams
    2 أشهر قبل

    JoCrap is the best Disney Princess

  86. Lead Boo
    Lead Boo
    2 أشهر قبل

    Bard: I attempt to seduce the dragon. DM: Roll for it Bard: Nat 20 let's go! DM: You succeed in seducing the dragon but the dragon brings out a jar. Moral of the story, just because you can seduce something doesn't mean you should.

  87. Kakashi Mugen
    Kakashi Mugen
    2 أشهر قبل

    So this is basically the crap guide to hunting horn. But for sns. With no oils.

  88. RoarOfDamnation
    2 أشهر قبل

    This almost, almost, made the class look good.

  89. ndisfoshiz
    2 أشهر قبل

    The “shouting my greatness from the rooftop” with the “Fuck you Baltimore” made me laugh more then it really should have.

  90. PlaydoughMaster
    2 أشهر قبل

    Me: thinking about my Mexican Dream bard Also me: remembering “Speedrun me in bed homeboy!” *this video sounds about right*

  91. PeteC 70
    PeteC 70
    2 أشهر قبل

    1:56 then pause quick to read Disclaimer

  92. Vasudean Guy
    Vasudean Guy
    2 أشهر قبل

    Jocrap: "All bards are lust-compelled sex deviants." My Lore Bard who's a historian: "You try to force to do that, I will bore you to death. Quite literally in fact. Who says Vicious Mockery has to be an insult?"

  93. suicune2001
    2 أشهر قبل

    And this is why my hooker bard is amazeballz. XD

  94. Amadeusz Szczęsny
    Amadeusz Szczęsny
    2 أشهر قبل

    Need a help with properly roleplaying chaotic evil yuan ti bard

  95. Christopher Damant
    Christopher Damant
    2 أشهر قبل

    So bardic inspiration is enhance ability but better in every possible way

  96. the bearable recruit
    the bearable recruit
    2 أشهر قبل

    I personally prefer to get my bard to level 18 so I can use magical secrets to steal the Time Stop spell from wizards and put it to a better use

  97. IsiahTomas
    2 أشهر قبل

    See, now I want to build a bard based on Stephen Wright and his power set would include the skill to dance really fast to slow music or drawing up life sized maps.

  98. Ritik Yadav
    Ritik Yadav
    2 أشهر قبل

    He is too funny to be kept alive

  99. 93neveron93
    2 أشهر قبل

    so fun

  100. Roleplay Chic
    Roleplay Chic
    2 أشهر قبل

    Its so satisfying watching the DM video and then this one to see how far JoCat got. And by that I mean actually getting Mercer in a video, so cool!